Last year, I was 25, this year I am 26. Still in the doldrums of life, but at least I can feel faint breezes against my face.

—*digression*—

Again with the sailing metaphors! If you go through some older entries, you’ll find again and again, images of sailing and the sea as a metaphor for my life. I don’t understand where this aquatic tendency comes from, but it does and so it remains.

As I think on it, about six months ago, a persistent image kept occurring to me of everybody being in their own boat, floating down a river and that that was everybody’s life. Born as a helpless baby, being put in their boat, floating down the river of life and then dying, lying in state like Boromir before falling over the edge of a waterfall at the end of their river and from there into the wide open sea.

I thought of myself in my own small canoe. As a child, my parents in their own boats had been on either side of me, piloting my skiff down the river; protecting me, guiding me and teaching me so that when I was old enough I could steer myself.

Though they pushed me off and let me go on my own way, it seems to me that I didn’t take up the tiller. I just went with the flow of the river, letting the currents direct the rudder taking me where they willed, doing each thing that seemed next on life’s To Do list: finishing school, going to college, getting a degree, going travelling, getting a job and so on. Just drifting, not partaking in deciding where I wanted to go, because I didn’t really know where or what that was and then last year I did.

It’s not that I didn’t know before, more that I didn’t think it possible and that I was too damn lazy, too scared, too lacking in spirit or ambition to commit to the idea of it and to pursue that dream. Drifting has its purpose and its time, but it can stifle and stagnate becoming a disease. The movie Office Space used to inspire me to be a slacker, but I think I missed the point. The main character was a hero to me, but for the wrong reasons. As I think back on it, it was the ending and not the beginning or middle that I should have been paying attention to. The message was not to be a complete waster, doing nothing, the point was to do what made you happy and that slacking off could be a part of that but was not the sole end or the sole means of a good life.

And so my digression has found it’s way back to my original thought. That life goes on, and that I need to steer some course out of these doldrums. I feel a few shore breezes on my cheeks and I can see the islands in the distance with ports to shelter in and people and places to learn from. I can’t afford to wait for a trade wind to blow up and take me out of this place, it’s time to put my back into it and to pull the oars. It’s hard work and the currents of life are pushing against the rudder, but the time for drifting has long since past and I must stick to the tiller, no matter how hard it is to take it up.

In dead doldrums was I stuck
Heave away! Haul away!
For too long out of luck
And I’m bound for life’s adventure.

do you ever take the time to stop for a moment and take in all the wonder of the world that we live in? I rarely do or rather I spend most of my time trying to block it out. The wonder of the world that we live in is so great that to let even a glimmer slip in, is to overwhelm my senses and induces such a sense of awe that leaves me dumbstruck.

We live in a universe that I can never understand, in a galaxy that I know exists and where I believe in the formation of stars and orbiting planets. To even dream about such gigantic objects is a humbling experience. From the galaxy, I can contract my vision to our own solar system where I can begin to feel a little more comfortable and thence to our own Earth which we abuse with little thought. The reality that we live in is a beautiful and awesome experience. The smallest petal on the ugliest weed can reveal such beauty that it takes the breath away.

But not alone must I contend with the natural world and all its myriad of life-forms, chemical reactions and physical forces, but also the wonder of mankind and its creations. I have always taken delight in language but the power of some people to transmute simple letters into an experience of the sublime still takes me unawares. Every day we live in a modern world that would leave our ancestors cowering in a corner to see the power that we wield and because we are used to it, we ignore it all. We ignore it to survive because to accept the all encompassing reality is too much for our brains to handle at one time.

Just before Christmas, I let a glimmer in. Watching a video from YouTube on a TV, via a Nintendo Wii and a wireless connection to the internet, I took a moment to think about the network of connections, the speed of it all and the diversity of them. Then the power, intelligence and invention that had been required to get to this point and the possibility that lay ahead. It was a moment of awe and wonder. My brain screamed how amazing it all was. How unbelievably amazing that supposedly simple and everyday experience was. Add to that the context of how far mankind had come in a 100 years and all I could think and say, was “How amazing! It’s simply amazing!” And then I managed to shut off the glimmer and I could function again.

Still every now and then I see something and think how awesome we are as a species! I see the contrail of a jet and I can’t help but think of the Wicked Witch of the West leaving a message in the sky for the citizens of the Emerald City. What would my Great-Great-Grandfather have made of a contrail? Would he have seen black magic or a sign from God? We look up and see that a plane has passed over our heads and then we shrug ourselves back down to earth to watch where we’re walking.

The world around us is so full of wonder, beauty and terror that to survive we must ignore it, but maybe we should spend more time just letting it wash over us and say to ourselves, “How amazing!”

Regards,
The Writer

But only on a server that isn’t publicly viewable!

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an Emperor – that’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible — Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another; human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there’s room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful.

But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me I say, “Do not despair.” The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass and dictators die; and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel; who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate; only the unloved hate, the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written, “the kingdom of God is within man” — not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men, in you, you the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite!! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people!! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise!! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.

Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!!!

Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up, Hannah. The clouds are lifting. The sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and brutality.

Look up, Hannah. The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow — into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me, and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up.”

– Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator

But I’ve come to a decision about that one. I’m not going to write it. It’d be wrong. It would spoil what it is that I want to talk about for other people. But perhaps most importantly, it’d spoil it for me and William Goldman, the author of “The Princess Bride.” If you didn’t already pick up from the quote then you clearly have never seen The Princess Bride and well……….there’s no buts about it, you need to see that movie. It’s a shame you didn’t see it as a kid, but that’s not my fault, blame your parents, blame yourself, blame the TV companies for not putting it in their schedule as often as [insert your own movie that you saw all the time in a specific period of time on TV]. If you didn’t watch TV, well I saw it on video for the first time, so that’s no excuse. The memory of the first time I saw it is still very clear. Anyway, once you’ve seen the movie, read the book. Then let me know….and then I can have my little fun, which of course was what the ranting was going to be about, but which will never now exist.

Also the other reason why I wanted to write the rant was to have “hello. my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father; prepare to die!” as a title of a ranting. You’ve either seen the movie and get it or you haven’t and don’t.

hello. my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father; prepare to die!
hello. my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father; prepare to die!
hello. my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father; prepare to die!

a) I was away until June, travelling…only half an excuse I could have updated.
b) I’ve been working….but only since the end of July. However that is a good one, as I’ve been merely paddling above water for most of that time keeping up with my workload.
c) I’ve been thinking, that the site needs to be overhauled again.

Let’s talk about c, or at least for a short bit. Having played around with Wordpress over at Journey, I think it could suffice for what I need to do, and wouldn’t require me to do a complete rewrite to take care of the new functionality I want to have on the website. Basically, Wordpress already does it. I’m not the first to realise it, nor will I be the last. Still, I’ll need my own bits and pieces that Wordpress doesn’t provide but that can be handled. So this is a heads up that the site will be changing. While I’m at it, I’ll probably muck around and make some new styles. Might still try and keep the old ones, not sure yet. This site in its current incarnation is actually almost, if not indeed already, two years old. That’s far too old!!!

Anyway, with that over…..let’s see, I have three rants that currently are schedule to go live in the year of 2011…..that’s because I haven’t finished them. “connections” is the title of one…..that must be three years old now…..hope I’ll finish that one someday…if I can remember what I wanted to say. Ah yes….”concerning hats, and other matters” is the next. Should really just finish that one off, it’s well over a year out of date now.

Then we come to the youngest of the three…..”hello. my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father; prepare to die!”….hmmmm……see next ranting.

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAMME FOR A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS.

SANTA IS BRINGING GOOD WISHES FROM ALL THE
MICRO ARTISTS GANG!  MAY 1988 BE A HAPPY YEAR!

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  ((     \. :./(__ :._O_)________:______,____:____/  *\_o
====((    \: (****) (***) :. ...: .. .  ()_______/\\ __-'
 \____((   \ ()oo()_/ /.:  :  ..________/_____ll   -/.: ..
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(       / (( \__*__)___:___ :  : ))   .) /--------\ \ \
(      /    ((_____________) .. //  . / / /..:: .  )_)_\
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Made me smile.

As you can see, several of the NetSoc “room denizens” not only have too much time to play Netris but also can plan and carry out such a feat as the above. I wonder did anybody suffer from paper cuts whilst cutting out all those blocks. In any case, they should probably get themselves checked out.

I have to admit though that it looks pretty damn cool. If you’re interested in seeing more pictures of the door, then there’s a full blow by blow account.